


In This Room Full Of Wentzes, You're The Only One-tz For Me

by orphan_account



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-20
Packaged: 2018-03-31 11:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3976921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As requested, Patrick attends Pete's famly reunion as his friend. The only problem? Pete's homophobic grandma. So naturally, Pete fake-dates Patrick. Because it's totally normal for two gay best friends to fake date. Totally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In This Room Full Of Wentzes, You're The Only One-tz For Me

"Patrick please for the love of God," Pete practically moaned. 

 

"Dude what the fuck?" Patrick asked, raising an eyebrow at his best friend. 

 

"Please come to my week-long family reunion thing next week, please!" Pete begged, actually clasping his hands together and dropping to his knees in front of Patrick. "My cousins I can actually stand can't come this year for the first two days since they live in New Zealand but my mom will kill me if I complain how bored I am for two days but it's gonna happen! We have this formal party/dinner thing on the first day and I will not be able to handle my family during that if I don't have some entertainment. Besides, the way I see it, you have two choices, you can come by your own free will to keep me out of boredom, or my mom can come to your house and tie you to the roof of the minivan and force you to come," Pete joked. 

 

"Dude chill, I'll ask if I can go," Patrick chuckled. 

 

"I could kiss you, but no homo," Pete told him. 

 

Patrick glared at him, "Pete you're gay. You are 'yes homo'."

 

"So are you," Pete grumbled. "Also my grandma is homophobic...which is another reason I can't handle that dinner. It's funny though; I'm gay, my cousin is agender and pansexual, their sister is asexual panromantic and I'm pretty sure demigendered. So is my other cousin. Also you're gonna be there so we have another gay guy. Gay squared!" 

 

"...I'm gonna go downstairs and ask my mom now..." Patrick muttered, running downstairs. Pete laughed and flopped onto the boy's bed, looking around Patrick's room like he had done many times before. He chuckled at the framed vinyl of David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust and The Spiders From Mars, which was signed by the man himself, and probably Patrick's most prized possession. "My mom said I can spend the week. Where is it though?" Patrick asked, popping his head back into the room. 

 

"The resort in Florida my uncle owns," Pete replied nonchalantly. 

 

"Fuck, Florida?" Patrick choked out. Pete blinked before nodding sheepishly. Patrick sighed before smiling fondly, "Let me go check again." Pete jumped off the bed and walked over to survey Patrick's vinyls. He was the only person Patrick gave full permission to to play anyone he wanted whenever he was over, without asking. Except he was never allowed to touch Ziggy. Ever. He put on the Twenty One Pilots album, Vessel, that Patrick had left on top of his dresser next to the player. "Nice choice," Patrick smirked. "My mom said I can go, just to be careful." 

 

Pete grinned, before grabbing Patrick by his wrists and making him dance with him. 

 

The shorter boy giggled and ran a hand through his strawberry blonde hair, before spun him around in a full circle, holding onto him the whole time. "Come on I want your help packing since we leave in two days right?" 

 

Pete nodded and threw Patrick's closet door open dramatically. "Grey suit you wore to Brendon's sweet sixteen, go get enough underwear and socks for a week, I'll pick out your shirts." He grabbed three short sleeve button downs, two black t-shirts, one grey one, and two cardigans; black and maroon. He threw a few band shirts into the pike for good measure, and a hoodie, just as Patrick returned with his other things. "Pajamas, hats, and pants and then like toothbrush and shit," Pete commanded. Patrick nodded and stuffed everything into one suitcase somehow. "Fucking wizard," Pete muttered. Patrick laughed at him and flicked his brown hair. 

 

~~**~~

 

"Flight 103, Chicago O'Hare International to Miami International, now boarding," someone announced over the airport speakers. 

 

"That's us," Pete's dad, Peter II told them. His mom, Dale, grabbed her things and Pete's six year old brother, Andrew's, bag, walking towards the gate. Pete and Patrick both grabbed their backpacks and followed Dale. "Why don't you boys sit together? We'll find a row for the three of us." Pete nodded and led Patrick to an empty row in the middle of the cabin. Since they were flying business class, they could sit wherever. 

 

Pete let Patrick have the window seat, as the latter had never flown in a plane before. Patrick latched onto his best friends hand, squeezing tightly. "What if we crash? What if the plane explodes--"

 

He was cut off by Pete slapping his other hand over his mouth. "Dude there are kids on this thing, you're gonna scare the shit out of them." He removed his hand as Patrick nodded. "Besides we'll be fine. It's like three hours, that's not bad." Patrick just nodded and exhaled shakily. Pete squeezed the hand that was still gripping his, and Patrick smiled slightly. 

 

"Mind if I sit here boys?" A friendly looking elderly lady asked. 

 

"Not at all ma'am! Go right ahead," Pete smiled. She sat in the seat next to him, and noticed Patrick's shaky and all-around nervous appearance. 

 

"First time flying?" She asked. Patrick nodded and clipped his seatbelt on tightly, as the flight attendant started going over safety. 

 

Pete ran a thumb over the other's knuckles, causing Patrick to calm down considerably. He had told Patrick to take a sleeping pill before they left his house that morning (Patrick had stayed over the night before so they didn't wake his mom up at four in the morning), and he could see it slowly start to take affect. Except as soon as the plane started moving, he jumped and gripped Pete's arm with his other hand. He knew Patrick wasn't afraid of heights, so he told him to look out the window, and he turned, looking mesmerized by the ground looking so small and far away. Once it was no longer visible and the 'fasten seat belts' sign turned off, Patrick yawned. He put the armrest up between he and Pete, lying his head on the brunette's shoulder. Pete put his arm around Patrick immediately. 

 

"You two are adorable together," the elderly woman told them. 

 

"Oh no, we're just friends. Best frieeeeends," Patrick muttered sleepily, before falling asleep. 

 

The woman gave Pete a knowing look and his cheeks turned slightly pink and he scratched his neck with his other arm. "You feel more than friendship for him, don't you?" Pete stared at his lap and nodded. He saw her smile again from the corner of his eye, and turned to look at her. "You'd be very cute together, I hope it all works out for you."

 

"Thanks ma'am," Pete whispered. She smiled again, before plugging her headphones into her iPod and putting the in her ears, leaning back in her seat to most likely get some sleep. 

 

Pete followed suit and put on his own music, only using an earbud in the ear away from Patrick. He yawned and placed his head on top of his best friends, falling asleep a few minutes later. 

 

Two hours and forty-five minutes later he jolted awake, panicking since he had felt he was falling. He realized they weren't and sighed in relief, looking at the now awake Patrick who was staring up at him from his shoulder. "You okay?" Patrick asked. 

 

"Yeah just a weird dream about falling. How long have you been awake?" Pete replied. 

 

"Like ten minutes," Patrick shrugged. "We're gonna be landing soon." Pete nodded and wrapped his phone in his headphones and put it in his bag. Patrick sat up, yawned, and ruffled his hair. "I want my fedora," he grumbled. 

 

"You can't wear hats in the airport, Trick," Pete reminded him. Patrick continued grumbling as he picked up his own backpack and put it on his lap. He was still grumbling about God knows what as they got off the plane and waited for Pete's parents. 

 

"Who woke Sleeping Beauty from his slumber?" Dale joked, ruffling Patrick's hair. Pete told her what happened on the plane and she laughed. "Pete your uncle and cousins from New Zealand ended up being able to come. I told them that you still brought your friend anyway and they're fine with it. They're waiting to pick us up." 

 

"Oh Patrick I can't wait for you to meet my uncle Josh. Or my cousins. Oh god, okay, Quinn's gonna flirt with you but they're harmless. Unless you use the wrong pronouns. Look at their bracelets to know. Same with Milly," Pete told him. Patrick nodded and looked down, fiddling with his backpack. "Hey don't be nervous." Pete took Patrick's hand in his own, squeezing gently. Patrick exhaled in relief, squeezing back. Pete smirked at a man with some style fauxhawk that was dyed right red and a nose ring. "DJ SPOOKY JIM!" He called out.

 

The man looked up from his phone and grinned. "EMO KING!" He shouted back, hugging Pete when the latter ran up to him. "The twins are -- QUINN LEAVE THE SQUIRREL ALONE!" 'Spooky Jim' shouted. A teen with short blonde hair and bangs laughed and stopped throwing acorns towards a squirrel. 

 

"I wasn't hurting it," Quinn laughed in their accent. "Also I think Milly's stuck in the tree."

 

"Fuck you I'm not stuck," another blonde with an accent spat, jumping out of a tree and landing right in front of Patrick. "Sorry mate," she apologized. 

 

"He's cute," Quinn smirked. 

 

"He's gay," Patrick blurted. 

 

"Same," Milly, Quinn, and Pete unisoned.

 

Patrick laughed and grabbed his suitcase, pulling out a fedora mad jamming it on his head. "Fuck you airport I have a hat!" He shouted. 

 

~~**~~

 

The point of Patrick coming was to keep Pete out of boredom, but right now, Pete was sitting in the corner of the ballroom at his uncle Tyler's resort, bored out of his mind, while his family practically interrogated Patrick. His cousin Elisa had dragged him away, her and her mother wanting to talk to him. Quinn and Milly were sitting next to him, and the latter was drawing on a napkin with a sharpie, making sure it didn't bleed through to her purple dress. His British cousin, Sam, was with them, and Pete was fuming. 

 

"You know I've never liked Elisa," Pete muttered. "She's a bitchy cousin, just because she's from wherever the fuck she's from. Fuck her."

 

"Someone's jealous," Sam sing-songed. 

 

"You bet your ass I'm jealous, I was gonna ask him out today!" Pete grumbled. 

 

"Grandma's being a homophobic wanker again," Sam told him. 

 

"Did you just call your grandmother a wanker?" Her dad, Pete's uncle Oli, asked, coming over to sit with them. "I mean it's true but still." 

 

"I'm sick of it. I'm gonna put her in her place. You guys wanna come out too?" Pete spat. The three of his cousins nodded. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Patrick. 

 

To: Patrick 

 

/hey pretend to be my boyfriend as a fuck you to my homophobe grandma?/ 

 

From: Patrick 

 

/sure/

 

He showed his cousins and uncle, and they cheered as he walked over and sat next to Patrick. Elisa looked offended by Pete's presence. "She's been trying to get in my pants this whole time," Patrick whispered. Pete glared at her, before texting his mom his plan. She replied telling him 'hell yes you go'.

 

Pete stood up on his chair and shouted, "Attention all Wentzes!" His entire family or thirty or so people stopped talking and looked at him. "You may have met Patrick. If not, he's the little dude in the grey suit and fedora. Anyway, Patrick Stump, is my boyfriend. That's right, I'm gay!" 

 

"Same!" Milly, Sam, and Quinn announced. 

 

"Me too!" Pete's uncle Gerard called out, turning and kissing his 'roommate' Frank. 

 

The room went silent, and their grandmother just kinda looked at all of them, before bursting into tears. "Same," she told them. "Well, bisexual but I was harassed for it and I didn't want that to happen to all of you." Pete beamed, hoped off the chair, and hugged his grandma.

 

Patrick stared at him for a minute, before dragging him out of the room. Patrick pushed him against the wall and kissed him, hard, for about two seconds, before pulling back and hugging him. "I'm proud of you," he whispered. 

 

"Thanks. Hey, wanna not pretend and actually be boyfriends?" Pete smirked. 

 

"Yes you little shit," Patrick chuckled. 

 

~~**~~

 

Two days later, after dinner, Pete took Patrick down to the beach at night. There were lights from the boats, and they were the only two out there. Pete had set out a blanket and they were lying together staring at what they could see of the stars. They were talking about anything and everything; and Pete sighed happily, tightening the arm he had put around Patrick. They had been quiet for a minute before Pete spoke up. "Ever since I was a little kid, I've wanted to grow up. But now, as a teenager, I understand Peter Pan perfectly. I don't want time to continue. I don't ever want to leave this moment," he muttered.

 

Patrick turned on his side to face Pete. "Me neither."


End file.
